Showing My True Colors

For those of you who've never been a white man on the streets of Asia, let me tell you all about it. Imagine being a bearded lady in the middle of a small Southern town: everybody stares and whispers but nobody wants to make eye contact with you. Of course there are several things about me that make me a little out of the ordinary, but if I had to pick one factor that garners me the most goggley eyes it wouldn't be the size 15 shoes or the big non-squinty eyes or even the height: it would be body hair. Never before have I been the only person with leg hair. Never before have I been the only one with five o'clock shadow. If I wear shorts on the subway the whole car stares unabashedly and small children turn away in fear. "What's wrong with him, Mommie?"

Now I know what it's like to be black in Alpharetta, minus the whole lack of rights thing. If we take, for instance, my terrible sense of direction. In America I can walk down the street, stop, turn around, and play it off with only a few smirking glances from those with internal maps. Not here, however. With every eye already fixed upon me, with every old man outside the car wash already noticing my uncustomary presence, it's impossible to turn around without everyone noticing and likewise without feeling terribly touristy and noobish.

I can't decide if this attention is embarrassing or a rare gift. I feel sometimes as though I could face plant in the brick and no more eyes would be on me. Isn't that the freedom to do anything free of embarrassment? When everybody's already looking what's to dissuade you from tripping huge and proud or walking into a glass door?

I also find it somewhat insulting but not entirely unexpected that no one believes me to know any Korean. If they know enough, store clerks will tell me prices in English. I've even been talked above on the subway (quite a feat with my height) to avoid being asked something as simple as "What station is next."

My super height isn't as big a deal as one would have anticipated. I'm tall, and most everywhere I go I'm going to be taller than everyone else. While this nation does have more short stacks it still has a large variety, so I don't feel that much taller than the whole sidewalk full of people. Like I said, it's not the worst thing I deal with as a white guy in a city of ten million yellow ones. It's been so long since I've seen a black person, much less a Mexican. I'm kind of starting to miss those little guys.