Cultural Oddity Moment #11

In Korea there are two types of weddings: a traditional wedding (전통식) and a modern wedding (현대식). Nowadays, thanks to Hollywood and American cultural imperialism, a Western style wedding has become quite popular among the currently marrying generation of Korean youth. But how Western is it? Surely they got the ceremony and atmosphere completely right. Nothing could go wrong with the idea of an Asia country mimicking a Western cultural practice, right? (I'm reminded here of the Meiji restoration and the ball that was thrown by the new Japanese gov't. ㅋㅋㅋ)

Clearly, all was not right.

First off, there was no church, no pastor. I can assume with 80% certainty that the marrying couple was indeed Christian as Seoul is overwhelming a Christian city just by demographics, but the very fact that the wedding was Western style is enough that I would bet an appendage that both those people were Christian (Christianity here is another post all together). We went to a "wedding hall," a 6 story construction with two chambers per floor in which weddings were being held all day, every hour on the hour. Instead of a pastor there was just some guy speaking about all the things that should and are expected to be said (...long life...prosperity...good times and bad...love...happiness...don't go to bed angry...). The religious aspect of the Western wedding was completely removed.

The very fact that I was there is proof enough that everyone on the planet was invited. Koreans like their weddings big and bustling: it never actually got quiet at any point before, during, or after the ceremony. There were people chatting it up, kids running and playing and laughing, and old men telling stories all throughout the entire show.

And it was a show. I'm talking about a spotlight whirling around the room like a blue light special at K-mart, multiple light fixtures fading from one color to another, and machines enveloping the whole floor in a layer of fog. It was like Kiss was doing a tour called "Matrimonium." I kept waiting for the pyrotechnics.














The bride and groom said not one word the entire time. In fact, their participation in the whole event was to walk down the aisle (together might I add: no giving the bride away and no superstition about seeing the bride in advance either.), stand and listen to the speaker, and then bow to each set of parents and walk out. There was no exchange of vows, no ring, no flower girl, no brides maids or best man, no bride's side or groom's side of the room, no "I do," no kiss. It was a wedding completely stripped of everything. The one ceremony that they did stick to (but completely at the wrong time) was cutting the cake. After the speaker was done, women dressed like the Navy rolled a wedding cake over on a cart that was also spewing fog. The bride and groom were given a machete and they held it together as they hacked the top layer of the cake in half. Immediately after the cake was severed, the Navy ladies rolled it back away. They didn't even eat the cake!
















During the ceremony a very intrusive and indiscreet cameraman and photographer walked in circles around the speaker and the couple, sticking flashing bulbs and video cameras in their faces. After a while they started to film those of us in the crowd who were actually watching the debacle. Soon the audience was getting into it, and people in t-shirts and jeans would walk up with a kid on one hip, stand behind the speaker, and take a picture of the couples faces from over the man's shoulders...as he was marrying them!

I don't know if anything about it was very Western at all, but the feast afterward was top notch. I stuffed myself at the "reception," which was held in a banquet hall in the adjacent building. Again, there was no band, no couple's first dance, no Father/daughter dance, no dancing at all for that matter.

This has been your cultural oddity moment of the day.

Cultural Oddity Moment #10

That's right: they're back. After a brief wade back into an alternative culture, my sense of the idiosyncrasies around me in day to day life has been restored. It's time for a discussion of oddity that has been a long time coming.

Let's start with a little game: Can you determine the gender of this photo taken of a random Seoul citizen on the bus? Check the appropriate box below.


















[] male
[] female
Maybe you can't tell from the exposed stomach, tight jeans, teddy bear phone-dangly out the back pocket, or sensual curves, but the very fact that I posed the question should have clued you in that this is in fact a dude. And this is not abnormal.

The effeminate male syndrome (EMS {copyright 2007}) in Korea baffles me while at the same time turns my stomach. There are many factors that make the Korean male effeminate, but let's start with one that is the least their fault: inability to grow facial or other body hair of any kind. This lends both to the womanliness of the male population while simultaneously being a factor which makes it so difficult for Westerners to correctly place the age of Koreans. Whereas facial hair has always added years to my face, the baby skin of Korean men subtracts them.

It goes deeper of course than just unavoidable genetic factors. There is the issue of trend. Current Korean fashion allows for not only the acceptability of pink and purple clothing on men which I mentioned last September, but the immense popularity of tight fitted, low-rider jeans, open chested shirts, and the infamous man purse (a recent trend which permits men to carry what would be considered in the West as a slightly over sized leather purse with two straps that are worn on one shoulder).

It doesn't take a very deep analysis into trend of South Korea to note the immense popularity of the "shaggy" haircut. Whether this is a result of Anime culture or vice-versa, the influence of Japanimation has struck the peninsula. It is common for men to be as primpy in bathrooms and at public mirrors as girls are, if not more so. Highlights, facials, eye cream, and various forms of understated make-up are all acceptable modifications of the male face. In fact, Anime has influenced the style so much that guys here get facial plastic surgery in order to carve down their jaw bone and give themselves a pointier chin. Another popular plastic surgery (on girls as well) is an eye modification designed to make the Asian eye fold and look more like that of a Westerner.

As disturbing as the thought of plastic surgery, eye make up, and tight clothes on a hairless, un-built Asian male is, the effeminacy goes even beyond trend. It is preferred here by women that the man be sentimental, in touch with his feelings. Girls want a guy who will go shopping with them, and in role reversal I've met several Korean girls who complain about their boyfriends for spending too much time and money shopping for clothes or for taking too long to do their hair before they go out on a date. The ideal Korean man should not be afraid to cry or to cuddle, should enjoy romantic comedies, should be soft. While these may sound like things that American women want in a guy, it can be seen that time and time again these "nice guys" always lose, that it is the more masculine, muscular, facial haired, suave, and dangerous man who is idolized in the States. This is a picture of Bae Yong-joon, currently the highest paid actor in Korea for his role on the drama "Winter Sonata" in which he plays the sensitive guy who can't get over a girl.

It's not just everything outward, but everything inward as well. You'd be hard pressed to find a factor in the Korean male that could actually be called "masculine" other than their propensity to fist fight, which even then could simply be a genetic rubber band effect to the amount these men have pulled away from the hunter/protector role that a human male is supposed to play. Several interesting observations can be drawn about the women in this country, but I can't really relate the aggressive behavioural patterns and such to the lack of a strong male figure since EMS is not specific to Korea but rather to the whole East Asian region whereas the rough quality in Korean women can certainly not be found in the Japanese or Chinese female population.

This has been your cultural oddity moment of the day.

Safe and Sound

For those of you who never even knew I was gone, forget I'm posting this, but for those of you who did know, I made it back in one piece. I came back from my week in the States with a new sense of peace, acceptance, and closure which I would have been hard pressed to reproduce on my own. Much family was seen, and luggage was carried instead of mailed. All good things.

However, every rose has its thorns. Did you know that if you are asleep on the plane when the meal lady comes around, you don't get a meal whether your tray is down or not??? Good thing someone packed me smoked turkey and cheddar with mustard on white. Stupid flight attendants.

I caught a glimpse of what life will be like for me coming back in 6 weeks and I didn't really like what I saw. I've lost most of my appetite for one. I can no longer eat the portions I used to, and I don't really want what food is around even when I am hungry. So much meat, so much dairy. I felt kind of sick all week. Big factor in my sickness #2: America is disgustingly fat, commercial, and wasteful. I was surprised (and a little bit disappointed in myself) that I haven't been shocked abut it my whole life, but I was in horror the whole ride back from the airport. Just gross.

So now I know for sure I'm definitely going to miss my regular eating habits and my economical environment, but something I was startled to discover was that I actually was uncomfortable being in an English environment. Not because I couldn't handle it, mind you, but because I could handle it. I could suddenly once again be held responsible for everything that was said around me! No more blissful ignorance! On the converse, everyone was able to understand me! There are no words to express how much I'm going to miss being the only one who can speak a language. I'm going to get myself in trouble on campus one day, walking behind some football player and then making some comment out loud about the speed at which we're walking. Yikes.

Speaking of school, it was depressing to be back on my once and future campus. How shallow everything there was. It felt the same way it feels to go back into your old high school after being out for a year. Everyone is dressed the same, every conversation is about something beneath you, uninteresting, unimportant. I am not excited about being back in that environment at all, but it has to be done I suppose. 2 more years until freedom.

Anyways, just letting everyone know that the wing wasn't violently ripped from the plane by a crosswind somewhere over the middle of the pacific. I did get a nice shot of Northern Canada though.

Only six more weeks of the adventure remain. Keep it real.

Spiderman 3

I saw it before you. And what would be the point of living in the country where it was released first if I didn't?

South Korea 1 May 2007
Bulgaria 4 May 2007
Estonia 4 May 2007
Finland 4 May 2007
Iceland 4 May 2007
India 4 May 2007
Ireland 4 May 2007
Lithuania 4 May 2007
Mexico 4 May 2007
Norway 4 May 2007
Panama 4 May 2007
Poland 4 May 2007
South Africa 4 May 2007
Spain 4 May 2007
Turkey 4 May 2007
UK 4 May 2007
USA 4 May 2007