Over the past year, I've had the unique opportunity to name children. Most people only get that opportunity 2-3 times in their life, but I'm here with hundreds of Minhyeoks and Jiyoungs and they all need names.
The benefit of this kind of freedom is the opportunity to make mistakes. Whereas I would never name my own child Phineas or Dexter, here I have the opportunity to test drive without having to buy.
The obsession stems partly from the fact that all of the students who choose their own names select the same, tawdry names that end in -y. Harry, Jenny, Tommy, Julie, Sally, Christie, and Ellie. Then there's the just bland names like Bill, Ryan, Eric, Chris, Sarah, and Grace (which gets particularly old because the Korean word for grace is a popular name here so they all just translate it).
Most annoying of all is June. In every class there is at least one June/Jun/Joon. The difference is that this child is exclusively male. Since many male Korean names include the syllable joon and they all know that June is an existing English name, they take the easy road. Surprisingly, no one has ever explained to them that June is, like all names from months, seasons, or plants, reserved for women.
It is expressly because of the Junes that I've adopted my interesting names hobby, though it may have started as a cruel joke. One of the things that is pretty consistent across the Junes (as well as other students who refuse to choose an English name) is that their resistance, laziness, and apathy usually extends further than just their lack of name choice. Often times these students become the problems of the classroom. As a type of passive-aggressive rebellion, I began naming these imps with English names that other children didn't have because Koreans find them difficult to pronounce. Valerie and Charles, for example, have both l and r juxtaposed, which Koreans find next to impossible.
The practice soon spread, however, and became an intra-office competition to give students the most outlandish names. From this period Tank and Blackhole were born. Finally we come to rest at the current situation. Select members of the office have joined my crusade to rid the school of Junes and increase the variety of names among students. Having come from a country where I'm used to international classrooms and jobs, I'm tired of the seas of identically named students. I miss going to school with Alfredo and Sauna, working with Juanito and Magno. We're starting more humbly (Douglas, Eve, Felicia, and Clive to date), but I've got a list and I'm passing out more original names.
If you have suggestions for a child's name, just add a comment. Think of it as adopting an African child but without the dollar a month. I'll even send you a picture of the child with your name.
The benefit of this kind of freedom is the opportunity to make mistakes. Whereas I would never name my own child Phineas or Dexter, here I have the opportunity to test drive without having to buy.
The obsession stems partly from the fact that all of the students who choose their own names select the same, tawdry names that end in -y. Harry, Jenny, Tommy, Julie, Sally, Christie, and Ellie. Then there's the just bland names like Bill, Ryan, Eric, Chris, Sarah, and Grace (which gets particularly old because the Korean word for grace is a popular name here so they all just translate it).
Most annoying of all is June. In every class there is at least one June/Jun/Joon. The difference is that this child is exclusively male. Since many male Korean names include the syllable joon and they all know that June is an existing English name, they take the easy road. Surprisingly, no one has ever explained to them that June is, like all names from months, seasons, or plants, reserved for women.
It is expressly because of the Junes that I've adopted my interesting names hobby, though it may have started as a cruel joke. One of the things that is pretty consistent across the Junes (as well as other students who refuse to choose an English name) is that their resistance, laziness, and apathy usually extends further than just their lack of name choice. Often times these students become the problems of the classroom. As a type of passive-aggressive rebellion, I began naming these imps with English names that other children didn't have because Koreans find them difficult to pronounce. Valerie and Charles, for example, have both l and r juxtaposed, which Koreans find next to impossible.
The practice soon spread, however, and became an intra-office competition to give students the most outlandish names. From this period Tank and Blackhole were born. Finally we come to rest at the current situation. Select members of the office have joined my crusade to rid the school of Junes and increase the variety of names among students. Having come from a country where I'm used to international classrooms and jobs, I'm tired of the seas of identically named students. I miss going to school with Alfredo and Sauna, working with Juanito and Magno. We're starting more humbly (Douglas, Eve, Felicia, and Clive to date), but I've got a list and I'm passing out more original names.
If you have suggestions for a child's name, just add a comment. Think of it as adopting an African child but without the dollar a month. I'll even send you a picture of the child with your name.
How about "Job"
ReplyDeleteTry explaining why the word job and the name Job sounds different. Hahaha C:
vidalia and valencia all the way.
ReplyDeletegertrude. beatrice. bertha. luna. sunshine. lilly. dhalia. lilith. fanny. leonard. avery. astro...
ReplyDelete